Beltane 2008

HEALING OUR SPIRITS
WITH PRESENCE ©
by Lady Raven Ariana

This morning I looked out of my window to see snow, followed by rain, more snow, a peek at the sun, more wind, billowing clouds, then patches of bright blue sky. The snow does not stick. It has been a few years since we’ve had such a spring here. This is actually more typical of the usual seasonal changes to our region. A saying we have about the weather in my locale is, “If you don’t like it (the weather), wait a while, it’s sure to change soon.” Snow on Beltane has been a 50/50 proposition, not counting the last 4 to 5 years or so. I live in a mountainous locale and we’ve even had snow in July (though a rare occurrence). The extremely mild winters, overly warm to hot Vernal Equinoxes, followed by blistering summers and super hot autumns are not the norm here, though there is variation from year to year.

Being physically present outdoors, honoring the God/desses, Spirits, Ancestors and, times of the year, brings one home to one’s body. Observing sunrise on the Vernal Equinox in the snow on a hillside while you’re moving yourself to keep warm is a bracing experience. Being outdoors at Beltane, warm or cool, is bound to get the blood flowing, whether you are basking in the spring warmth or weaving the Maypole through the snow. Midsummer, the longest day of the year, often brings some bodily experience of heat. Every holiday brings the opportunity to have a physical dance with the Seasons.

We honor Spirit at these times. We connect to the Sacred, the Earth, the Spirits, the Ancestors, the God/desses, and Ourselves. We connect to the cycles and seek communion, community, and healing of the Spirit, or perhaps we are solitaries and we find our own healing within connection to the Wheel of the Year, the God/desses, the Spirits and all they contain. The common thread is our own personal experiences within our bodies. It is within our bodies that we can dance the dances of transformation.

The body is our sacred vessel to effect change and healing. We are incarnated. We have the abilities to make new pathways within our physical selves. We have the opportunities to have full experiences: intellectual, creative, emotional, physical, and spiritual. These experiences can lead to healing.

I’m face down on the massage table. The healer is pressing down on parts of my back with her hands and forearms. Other pressure is brought to bear from different parts of her body. The experience hurts as she encounters knotted muscles, trigger points, and stored tension in my physical self. My mind tries to stay present. Do I feel and breathe through the pain, or do I disassociate and hover over myself while the painful work proceeds?

Disassociation is the Shaman’s gift and curse. We can separate ourselves from our physical experiences to journey, seek wisdom from the Spirits, or just remove our minds from pain. This pain can be physical, emotional, creative, intellectual, or our experiences of relationships/non-relationships with others of human kind. Disassociation can save us when we are overwhelmed with pain and have no apparent way out. It helps us to stay rational and functional in the face of trauma.

Disassociation can also become a hindrance when one is safe and desiring to work through issues: intellectual, creative, emotional, physical, and spiritual. How can issues be worked through and healing sought if one can only disassociate, that is, separate one’s mind from one’s present incarnated experience? Can we do this work of healing solely outside of our actual physical bodies? I don’t know the answer to this question.

I do know that our physical bodies give us a vehicle to move through our experiences in this lifetime. If given a chance and the appropriate tools, along with safe space to practice and experience, we can make changes in our personal patterns and the way we relate to our lives, the world, and ourselves. We can find deep healing of the spirit.

Some shamans are so physically or emotionally distressed that perhaps it is better for them to remain in a mainly disassociative space. Yet, there still needs to be some in-the-body reference point from which to make choices. This reference point allows the shaman to best use the time spent in the body, feeling pain and other states, to move personal and spiritual healing in a positive direction while doing whatever additional work the shaman feels needs to be accomplished.

How does one find/experience an “in-the-body reference point”?

I remember the first time I actually experienced being within my body since childhood. It was during a Hatha yoga class. I’d been taking this form of yoga with the same teacher, through college classes, for two years. He’d have us breathe through a series of forms (physical positions) then have us lay back and “experience what we feel”. For the first year and more of classes I had no idea what he was talking about. After two years of classes and practice, there came a day when I realized I actually felt an experience of being inside my body.

Wow, that was alien and strange! I was actually under my skin feeling my physical self. This is a very hard-to-describe experience. It felt alien in its calmness and focus. I had been used to living outside my skin, disassociating, in trauma mode for most of my life. At first, I didn’t like this feeling. It was unfamiliar, too slow and calm. It lacked the super hyper response level that I’d lived in for most of my life. Yet, the peace felt good.

This was my introduction to being inside my body, a ‘reference point’. Later I learned about some of the dissasociative states caused by trauma, abuse, and pain. I also learned about diseases that affect the spirit, emotions, and mind and how these also encourage our conscious minds to flee physical experience.

Our culture too often diminishes actual positive physical experience, while pressing living life out of balance and promoting unhealthy, unsustainable practices. We are encouraged to succumb to some type of cultural malaise and/or a myriad of addictions. We are also encouraged to divorce ourselves from our physical bodies and the rest of our experienced reality. This leads to scenarios such as sitting in an office with it’s artificial climate, ignoring the living seasons and how badly that different parts of our bodies hurt from repetitive motion until it becomes overwhelming and some modern doctor decides we need some kind of surgery.

Dis-ease is the inability to feel “at ease”. This disease can happen anywhere in the balance of being. Some people have disease at a spiritual level, others have it in their bodies, and still others with emotional problems, and some have dis-ease through out their entire being. In our culture, it seems that the majority of the people are experiencing multiple levels of disease and unwellness. Sadly this seems to be true for our Mother Earth, as well. We are out of balance within ourselves and in our external existence here on our planet.

Many, if not most, shamans work with helping and healing others. How much does a shaman have to be healed, intellectually, creatively, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, before she/he has the skills to help with the healing of other human creatures or even the planet? This, I believe to be a question that needs to be asked and answered by each shaman for him/herself. Our bodies can provide a reality check for our shamanic aspirations and duties. I also believe that being present in our bodies is a valuable tool for our own multi-faceted healing journey that, in my experience, is ongoing.

There are many ways to practice and gain in the abilities to experience the awareness of presence in our bodies. Yoga, meditation, bodywork, martial arts, dance, and many other disciplines can help us to learn or increase our awareness of physical presence. The Spirits themselves can suggest other diverse ways to gain experiences, practices, and skills. Journeying and other disassociative states can bring us tools for gaining knowledge of physical awareness when used wisely.

As I experience the changing weather, feeling the wind, the precipitation, and sun, as they come and go, I rejoice in my journey to have some ability to dwell within my body. I know that I’m still on my path with much to learn and experience. There is on-going healing to do. I realize that my practices will continue and I will collect new tools, skills, insights, and awarenesses along the way. I also gain in my abilities to physically experience pleasure and gratitude to the Spirits for this life’s incarnation.

While twilight descends around the volatile spring weather, we honor the very Earth that brings us soil, flowers, fruit and seeds. The slumbering night grows shorter as we approach the longest day. The day gets stronger and stronger, longer and longer, while the night shortens. We face ourselves towards the ever-increasing light. At Midsummer the day peaks and we find ourselves experiencing the longest day of the year. May all seekers, shamans, other Earthly dwellers, and our own Mother Earth find the blessings of healing and balance in all the realms of experience, awareness, and incarnation. May you all dance in healing with the Spirits and the Seasons. Blessed Be!