Samhain 2008 (2)

TRUE COMMUNITY AND ON BEING AN ANCESTOR ©
by Lady Raven Ariana

Samhain swiftly approaches, as does the second birthday of my second to youngest grandson. My youngest male grandson was born 2 years ago on the 30th of October. My youngest grandchild, Rowan, was born 2 years ago come February. The days grow chill and the leaves are turning while I continue to serve the Spirits/Gods/Goddesses and the Ancestors.

Dear friends visited today to pick up some lawn furniture and other stuff, while helping my husband plant some trees. Reciprocity is a wonderful thing. My friend is also an Elder High Priestess and her mate, another friend of ours, is a wonderful Priest. While our husbands labored planting trees to feed the birds, we spoiled HPs chatted about lost relationships, the true nature of “community”, and leaving legacies for our descendants.

We have both retired from public service and availability and have become quite discerning where relationships are concerned. We, she and I and our mates, had become too familiar with “familiarity breeds disrespect”. We also tired of the endless outpouring of our precious resources to those who complained, “It was never good enough.” Add to this the ruthless competition from frauds seeking power, ego enhancement and glory, using the “sheep” (all agog,): no wonder so many Elders seek refuge.

My Spirituality was trashed by public service. This despite every effort to avoid the “trashing”. The only redeeming quality I had was my unwavering Service to Spirit/Gods/Goddess and the Ancestors. I also kept faith with my path.

I began this engagement with “community” believing that “My Pagan brothers and sisters will all love each other and wish to harm none while honoring the path for betterment!” This is not how events worked out.

I soon learned that there was no one true “local pagan community”, at least where I live. What was proven was a collection of a mish mash mixture of unrelentless rebels, power seekers disguised as “power within” brokers, ego maniacs, con-artists, anti-social personality disorders, and dysfunticional people of all types, add in the “sheep” that like a good show. Movers, shakers, and true witches/shaman were mostly discouraged, challenged by the power brokers, and jeered by sheep (the sad followers of the local glamourists). Those who tried to persevere, for the sake of the Powers, were ultimately defeated. This seems to be the prevailing trend where I live.

I could probably write a book about my observations on the outhouse of human behavior in the so-called local “pagan community”. What I did learn after many hard lessons of trial and error is that there is no one true local “pagan community”. There is no honor are no commonly held mores, morals, structure for behavior, common views of “harm none”, or any desire for most people to use “Craft” for the development of the self to evolve and better serve Earth, our Mother. What seems to be the common denominator is, like many other paths, the need to twist, bend, pervert and restructure the beliefs and behaviors for the benefit of predators and the truly lazy. If one can obtain power, sex, money, or self- importance then that seems to be the goal.

I know I sound jaded and I am, but there is hope. Keep reading and you might also find hope and light at the end of the tunnel if you live in an area like I do. When I left public service it proved to be a gigantic hole in my being. Yet, time truly heals wounds and nature abhors a vacuum. Slowly, but surely, my life filled with relationships that were truly satisfying. I did not have as many as before, but “quality before quantity.” As relationships thinned I became more introspective. My sense of spirituality grew. I no longer had to go around with psychic armor. I could spend quality time with my family and true friends. These were luxuries that I could not afford when I was serving the masses. I realized that I had neglected home and hearth for giving service to others. Those people who trashed my premises did so while bitching that I was not providing services in line with their needs. The “tittty” giveth, the “titty” taketh away (Raven’s quote). Grow up you adult babies!

I thinned and thinned, mourned and mourned. My last, most regretted, loss is a long- standing friendship that started as lovers. I had to let him go. He disrespected my wishes at every turn, never attended an event I lead, yet spoke as an authority about all my doings to anyone wishing to assassinate my character through gossip while disrespecting me and my directly stated boundaries. If I allow this behavior, how can I respect myself? Of course, his response was one of blame and denial of any of his personal accountability.

My goals now are to have the best relations I can have with my family and friends. I also wish to leave a legacy of familial reverence to my children and grandchildren. I find that the best relationships are with all of the Sacred and the best relationship with myself, while trying my best to improve my path.

How does this relate to being a better Ancestor or honoring them? On November 2nd I’ve arranged a Day of the Dead, Dia de Los Muertos, a celebration with my family and long time friend, Jesus. I’m planning on cooking a turkey! This will be the latest in the long- standing celebration of the Feasts of the Ancestors that I have organized for more than two decades. So mote it be! Blessed be to you all in your familial celebrations.

Post Script: I have had many issues with my Ancestors. My first feasts were with those who had passed beyond, I admired, but were not blood kin, Gerald Durrell and others. Many blessings to you in your seeking J May you troubled ones, like myself, make relationships with your Ancestors (flawed as they may be) be rewarding and healing. Love ya!

True community begins at home!

(If you are a “family” member, via friend or blood, and wish inclusion in this Ancestral event give me a jingle. It will be memorable!)